What's Love?
by hiei-hellfireangel
Summary: Hiei meets a person who will finally answer his question. From Hiei's POV.
1. Thoughts

Hello there, people! Just wanted to clear some things out:  
  
To all those who asked if I was Filipino, the answer is yes.  
  
About writing a sequel to "Kurama Goes Bald", I'm not sure. I still can't think about anything. But that doesn't mean that I won't be writing a sequel, so hang in there!  
  
Gomen to all those Kurama fans out there. I just couldn't stop myself! But don't get me wrong. I like him, too, but not as much as Hiei. *_*;  
  
"Kurama Goes Bald" is my first fic. I'm a particularly new writer (13 years old) so I'm gonna need a lot of C&C's so keep them coming!  
  
This fic is a love story. I'm not familiar with romance so please help me!!! Please give me some advice! E-mail me at frozen_fire@animefan.net.  
  
Don't expect any Yaoi fics from me. :P I don't support that idea. Especially Hiei x Kurama. They're just friends.  
  
Me and my friend Unica_fire (no, he's not a member... yet.) are planning on writing a STRANGE story... O_o;  
  
DISCLAIMER: I don't own Yu Yu Hakusho, although I wish I did. It belongs to Yoshihiro Togashi.  
  
~*~  
  
What's Love?  
  
By Frozen_fire  
  
Chapter 1  
  
Thoughts  
  
  
  
The sun's up. Hn. It's morning, another day for me to live this damned life. I sometimes wish that I were never born. Well, this is my fate; I guess I'll just have to accept that. But I still wish that my life would end soon, to finish all that suffering. I hate it. Yukina's the only reason I continue to live. But the pain in her eyes whenever I tell her that I haven't found her brother just encourages me to die. Death... such a strong word.  
  
~*~  
  
As I pass by the trees, I see two ningens. One's a boy while the other's a girl. They're smiling... at each other. They look like they're about to eat each other's face. Too sweet. They're so in love with each other. What's this? Do I feel jealous? Hn. Why? What's to be jealous about? Them? Or something else? Love?  
  
What is love? I've never experienced it. No, not brotherly love. Love. What is 'it'?  
  
Pleasure? Probably. A lot claim that when you love somebody, you feel good... pleased. Joy surrounds you. But...  
  
Others say different.  
  
Craziness? Definitely. You act strangely. Like you've got no control of yourself. But they say that they like the feeling of 'crazy'. Idiots. Just like that stupid ningen couple there. They irk me.  
  
But some say something else.  
  
Pain? Why? Will you get hurt? Some say that when you love, you will experience pain. Pain of being left, waiting for that day to come, not being loved. Then why fall in love in the first place? Stupid ningens and their stupid ideas. But why do I feel this way? Why am I so upset about it?  
  
~*~  
  
I leave the Ningenkai. I go to the Makai in search of a challenge. To get rid of these stupid ideas of mine. What's that? I hear a sound from a bush behind me. I turn around. Hn. Finally, an opponent. The four-eyed creature glares at me. He's hungry, but I don't want to be his breakfast. I unsheathed my katana and charged at the disgusting beast. Slash! I cut him in half. "Weakling." I muttered.  
  
Hn. That cut my thoughts. Good. Then I'll find another victim. I hear something up ahead. I hide behind a tree and spied. Another beast, this time with one eye and four arms. Hn. They come in all shapes and sizes. But they all have a common denominator... the word ugly.  
  
The youkai spots me. I move away from my hiding place and charged at him. He's fast. He dodged my attack and started to shower me with acid. I evaded it. Hn. This guy can put up a fight. I opened my Jagan and summoned some hellfire. Haven't used it in a couple of weeks. I throw it at him. He shrieks in agony. I overestimated him. That fire was just meant for ningens. Another loser.  
  
~*~  
  
I continued on my journey. Then something pops in my gray matter. Why would I need love? I'd just become weak, like ningens. I don't want that to happen. Hn. That closes it all. Love would just make me weak. But then something pops in again. But what if I experienced love? What if I was loved, instead of being hated? What it I learned to love? I shake my head. Nah. Then I wouldn't be me. I'd be weak. Weak. I AM not weak. But still, why do I feel this way? I need to get rid of this before I become weak.  
  
I look at myself. Now I'm all covered with blood and it's beginning to stink. I head to a nearby river. I had to wash this off. I took off my shirt, went into the water and started scrubbing. Suddenly, I hear something move behind the big rock in front of me. I grab my katana and climbed up the rock to look. Another youkai. I can't quite describe him. His hair is all I can see. Long, black hair. He was bathing as well. But I can never be too sure. I jump in front of him, my katana on his throat. I was about to kill him when...  
  
Beautiful purple eyes met me. His eyes tell me that he was afraid. He was fair-skinned and he was as tall as I am. He's beautiful. He? I looked down. I felt my cheeks redden.  
  
He was a she! I was caught off-guard. I took a step back. I look at her again. She was as red as a tomato. She immediately took her towel and covered herself. She looked at me. Huh? Why is my heart beating so fast? Her features softened a little. Then she said something that shook me.  
  
~*~  
  
Frozen_fire: Well, that was Chapter 1! Chapter2 will be posted soon. Oh, and please, send me your opinions! I NEED THEM! 


	2. Light

What's Love?  
  
By Frozen_fire  
  
Chapter 2  
  
Light  
  
  
  
"Please go ahead and kill me."  
  
I was confused. "Huh?"  
  
She nodded. "If that's what you want. I wouldn't mind."  
  
"Why?" I was curious. If she gave me a good answer, I might do as she asks.  
  
  
  
"I was born due to an unwanted pregnancy. My mother hated me because I reminded her of the bastard who abused her. When I was three, she abandoned me. A rich family took me in and made me their slave. Soon, they grew tired of me and sold me to a group of thieves who taught me how to fight and steal. I would always get a beating because I was always caught in the act and never got any money. After a few years, I left them. But I ended up like my mother, abused. I killed every creature that stood in my path. I was full of hate. But now, I regret it. I wish I was never born!"  
  
  
  
I was surprised. I never thought another person had experienced such damned fate like he did. I felt sorry.  
  
"Look for another person to grant you death. I'm not doing it."  
  
"But why?! I can't stand it anymore! Kill me, please!"  
  
"I-I can't."  
  
"Why?!"  
  
"We're too much alike."  
  
"Huh? What do you mean?" she asked. I told her my story.  
  
"Now you know why I can't kill you. It just feels like if I kill you, I wouldn't be helping either of us. It would be better if we would just live our lives normally, forget about our past. Then maybe we'll be able to live our lives to the fullest." Huh? Did I just say that? Hn. Strange. I never thought of doing it.  
  
"You're right." she smiled. "Thank you for enlightening me, uh-?"  
  
"Hiei. You?"  
  
"Hikari."  
  
"Nice name." She blushed. I raised an eyebrow. "Did I say something wrong?'  
  
"N-No. It's just that it's the first time someone told me that. Arigato." she replied. Then she looked at my arm. "You have a wound. It's a little deep." A wound? I looked at my arm. She's right. I didn't notice it, though. She touched my arm. Her hand began to glow. I watched as my wound closed. Her hand felt warm against my skin.  
  
"There. It's healed."  
  
"Why did you do that?"  
  
"It's my way of saying thanks."  
  
"Hn. Forget it."  
  
  
  
I was about to climb back when she tugged on my pants. "What?"  
  
"You're a traveler, right?"  
  
"Hn. Sort of. Why'd you ask?"  
  
"Can I come with you?"  
  
Come with me? What for? "If you think you'll die if you come with me, you're wrong."  
  
"No, that's not my reason. I just want to come with you because I think it'll be better than traveling alone." she said. But then her expression changed. "D-Demo, I'm not forcing you. I just thought that if I-."  
  
"Hn. Fine. Besides, it would be easier if there were two of us." What the? Did I just say that again?!  
  
Her face lighted up. "Really? I can come?" I nodded then sighed. What is happening to me?  
  
~*~  
  
After a few skirmishes, Hikari and I camped near a river. I know that it sounds dangerous, since a lot of youkai live near, but we needed to get food. Speaking of youkai, we fought a huge one lately. Seems like I underestimated Hikari. She was an A-class youkai, too. She easily took care of that ugly oaf. She even stole the katana the youkai was holding.  
  
"I'm hungry." she said as she placed her hand on her stomach. I am, too.  
  
"I can catch some fish for us to eat." I said as I pointed at the river. "You can start the fire."  
  
"Okay."  
  
I headed for the river. I took off my coat and went into the water. The river was clear so it was easy catching fish. I looked at Hikari. She doesn't seem to have any problem with starting the fire since it was already there when I came back.  
  
"You wanna help me gut the fish?" I asked. Of course she disagreed. She sounded disgusted. Women... you can never understand them.  
  
After gutting the fish, I placed them on sticks and placed them by the fire. A few minutes and it's cooked. Finally, dinner, I'm starving. I got a fish and started eating it. Hikari eyed the fish.  
  
"What's your problem now?" I asked.  
  
"I-It's staring at me!"  
  
I sighed. "Just eat." She took a bite. Then another. And another. "Not bad." she said. I licked the stick clean and got another. Nothing like a good dinner. She, too, started on her second fish.  
  
"One more fish left." I said to myself. As I reached out to get it, I felt something tug it. I tugged harder and Hikari tumbled on me. "Owww..." she mumbled.  
  
I opened my eyes. I saw her face above mine. I felt hot again. "Get off of me!"  
  
She scrambled to her feet. "Gomenasai!" I looked at my hand. The fish was mine. Wait...  
  
"Were you the one who was tugging at the fish?"  
  
"Uh, yes."  
  
I sighed. "Here. You can have it. I 'm not hungry anyway." She looked at me with those eyes again. "Will you stop looking at me like that! Here, just take the fish!"  
  
~*~  
  
Frozen_fire: Oooohhh! Hehehe... I told you I stink with these romance stuff! 


	3. The Strange Feeling

Frozen_fire: I know, I know. You're probably thinking, "Romance?! But I thought Frozen_fire writes crazy stuff? Well, I am making another crazy story, too, with my friend. But this story's been in my head for too long. I've got to get rid of it.  
  
Uh, you might find Hiei stupid in this chapter. Hehehe... Gomen!  
  
What's Love?  
  
By Frozen_fire  
  
Chapter 3  
  
The Strange Feeling  
  
  
  
"Will you stop looking at me like that? Here, just take the fish!"  
  
Those eyes again, filled with fear. She looked away. What's that? Tears? Why am I beginning to feel sad again? Why do I feel this way? Am I becoming soft? Aaarrgh! Stop it, Hiei. This is making no sense! I have to be hard, I always am. Even if she's a girl. I have to...  
  
"Will you just stop crying! It's not going to help you!" I yelled. Ahhh... that felt much better. But then she looked at me again. What's this I'm feeling? Guilt? I shrug off the idea. Hn.  
  
"H-Hai." She's wiping her tears. Good. She'll have to learn it the hard way. You can't survive here in the Makai if you're soft and weak. "Gomen, Hiei-kun. I was just startled."  
  
"Hn. Never mind. Are you eating that?"  
  
Her eyes widened. "Oh-uh, yeah."  
  
I watched her eat the fish. Stupid fish. Made me lose my cool. Hn. I looked at her face, golden because of the fire. Beautiful was an understatement. I felt myself blush. I shook my head. Why do I feel this way whenever I look at her? It's starting to annoy me. I have to find out. What? What's this? A hand? I blinked several times.  
  
"Hiei-kun, daijobu?" It was Hikari, waving her hand in front of my face. "What are you thinking? You seem so deep in thought."  
  
"I-It's nothing. It's none of your business!" I answered as I turned away. "Jeez, I was only asking." I lay down for a while. I looked at my arm that she healed a while ago. A thought entered my head. Wait, could it be the reason I was feeling funny? It had to be. She must have placed some potion inside me when she healed me. But why? She's a thief! She probably wants to kill me then steal my things!  
  
"Why you sly-." I was about to get my katana when I saw her. She was sleeping. I looked at her again. She really is beautiful. I shook my head again. 'She's out to kill you and you're just staring at her?!' my mind screamed. But I just can't kill her. Why? Is this one of the potion's functions, control me? I can't let that happen! I positioned myself, ready to stab her right on her chest. But I just can't bring myself to do it. Why? Why?!  
  
I lay my sword down. This is stupid! I AM starting to become soft! I HATE IT! I have to do something, but what? I had an idea. Kurama must have an antidote! I have to get to him, and fast! I grabbed my things and prepared to leave.  
  
"Hiei-kun..."  
  
I turned around. Did she know I was leaving? I walked to her... sleeping. Wait, she might have an antidote! I started to look inside her bag. Clothes... daggers... money... Damn! No antidote! I whispered curses.  
  
What will I do? She has control over me... Hn. Then I'll just go along. She probably won't notice. Tomorrow... that's when I go to Ningenkai. Should I bring her with me? Hn. She can control me. I'll just think of an alibi. Hn. Tomorrow...  
  
~*~  
  
"Wake up."  
  
I woke up early. I have to get to Kurama's. He can help me. I tugged on Hikari's black tunic. She turned around my direction and yawned. "H-Hiei- kun, doshite?"  
  
"We're going to Ningenkai."  
  
She sat up and looked at me. "Huh? What for?"  
  
"I'm visiting a friend of mine."  
  
"Friend? Why?" She looked confused.  
  
"None of your business."  
  
"Then why wake me up so early?"  
  
"You're coming with me."  
  
"I thought that it was none of my business."  
  
"Hn. Just shut up."  
  
"Fine."  
  
Hn. That was pathetic. I looked at her. She's packing her things. Hn. She bought it.  
  
"Hurry up."  
  
"What's the rush?"  
  
"Hn." She stuck her tongue at me. She can be so childish.  
  
  
  
It wasn't long until we reached Ningenkai. Ever since we got here, she can't stop looking around. She looks like some silly child.  
  
"Is this your first time here?"  
  
"Hai. Wow, I never thought that Ningenkai had such blue skies! It's so beautiful."  
  
I rolled my eyes. Blue skies? So what? Now I'm starting to wonder why I ever agreed to take her along. I really don't need a sidekick. Sometimes I just don't understand myself.  
  
Finally, we reached the youko's house. I jumped on my usual tree near his bedroom's window. Hn. He's not here. What luck.  
  
"Oi, Hiei!" A familiar voice called out. I looked down. "Kurama."  
  
I jumped down. "What brings you here?"  
  
"Hn. I need to talk to you."  
  
"About what?"  
  
"I need your help."  
  
"My help? Okay, let's go upstairs. But first, Hiei, who's this young lady with you?" Kurama looked at Hikari. I grunted as I looked at her. She was staring... at Kurama. I shoved her at the back. She almost fell down.  
  
"Uh-uh, I'm, I mean, uh-." How irritating. I sighed. "She's Hikari. I met her a few days ago."  
  
Kurama smiled. "Nice to meet you, Hikari. I'm Kurama." He bent down and kissed her hand. What the hell is he doing? He can't just do that! "Hn!" I managed to say. I grew even more annoyed when I looked at the girl's face. Red. Maybe if I place her in a dark room her face might light the half of it. I suddenly felt funny. I felt annoyed just because of this? I really need to get this thing off of me.  
  
I tapped Kurama's shoulder. "Fox, we need to talk."  
  
"Oh yeah." He opened the door and led Hikari to the living room. "You can wait down here, Hikari-chan." He then signaled me to go upstairs.  
  
~*~  
  
"So, what is it that you want to talk about." he said as he closed the door behind him.  
  
"The girl somehow poisoned me." I said uncomfortably. He knitted his brows. "Poison you? How?"  
  
I told him how I met her, how I think she poisoned me and how I feel when I'm around her. "She can control me. Last night, I tried to kill her but I couldn't. She made me weak!"  
  
Kurama giggled. "What's funny?" I asked.  
  
"You."  
  
"Hn. I'm serious, fox. She can control what I feel."  
  
He looked at me with those eyes of his. I squinted. Then he whispered something in my ear. "What do you think of her, Hiei? Isn't she pretty? Hikari..."  
  
I blushed again. Even mentioning her name makes me feel funny. "Stop it, kitsune! It's not funny!"  
  
"You haven't answered my question."  
  
I blushed again. This is really getting on my nerve. "Hiei? Answer." he said.  
  
"Well, uh, she is pretty... I guess." I mumbled. But I know the fox heard that since he started to laugh again. "Kurama! What is the matter with you?!"  
  
"You look so cute when you blush! You look like a child, Hiei!" he choked. I grabbed him by the collar of his shirt. "I am serious, Kurama. Do you have an antidote or not?"  
  
He managed to sit up straight. He had a mischievous smile on his lips, which irked me. "Well?"  
  
"I have another question first."  
  
"What?"  
  
"When I kissed her hand, how did you feel?"  
  
"What kind of question is that?!"  
  
"Just answer."  
  
I shifted from my position. My heart's beating rapidly again. Then I remembered Hikari's look on her face. The redness that colored her cheeks. "Hn. It's none of your business."  
  
"You were jealous, weren't you?"  
  
"What?! That's not true! Why should I be jealous?" Stupid fox! Me, jealous? Jealous... Was I jealous? I blushed again.  
  
"Don't worry, Hiei. I have no plans of stealing her from you."  
  
"Aaarrgh! Stop it, Kurama! Now, tell me. Do you have an antidote or not?"  
  
"I don't think that you're poisoned, Hiei."  
  
"What? What do you mean?"  
  
He closed his eyes and sighed. "I'm not sure how to say this."  
  
"Just spit it out!"  
  
"Well, I think what you're feeling is 'love', Hiei."  
  
Love? That's impossible. "That's stupid. How do you know?"  
  
"I'm not sure yet. I think that what you're feeling right now is just 'infatuation'. But it may develop into, uh, you know."  
  
"So? What are you trying to say?" Some help this is...  
  
"Sort out your feelings. Try to know what you really feel."  
  
"How is that supposed to help? You're not even sure if what I'm feeling is..."  
  
"Just follow your feelings. Trust me. You'll find out soon enough."  
  
~*~  
  
"So what did you talk about, Hiei-kun?" Hikari asked. "Hn." was all I could answer.  
  
"Is it important?"  
  
"Hn."  
  
"I guess it's some secret then."  
  
"Hn. Sort of."  
  
I swung my leg from the branch I was on. Love... Is that what I really feel? Hn. I don't even know what love is, how should I know? There it goes again. Those stupid questions that were in my head before I met her began to appear, but I ignored them. I looked down at her. She was blushing again. "Hn. Why are you blushing?"  
  
She looked up at me. Her eyes looked different.  
  
"I was just thinking of something."  
  
"Hn. Kurama, huh?"  
  
"NO!" I raised a brow. "It's just that, uh, well..."  
  
"What?"  
  
She blushed again. "He's cute. I think I like him."  
  
"Hn. Who doesn't?"  
  
"No! Not that. I think I like him."  
  
I felt strange. Am I jealous? I shook my head and jumped off the tree.  
  
Hikari looked at me. "Hiei-kun, do you think he likes me, too?"  
  
I sat down beside her. Jealous... I guess I am a bit jealous. "I think he does."  
  
"You really think so?"  
  
"What's not to like about you?" I began to feel funny again. I feel like I'm not my usual self.  
  
She stood up and began to walk. I followed her. "I'm weak. And I cry easily. You know that well enough, Hiei-kun."  
  
"Everybody has their own weaknesses. Nobody's perfect. No one will ever be." I said.  
  
She stopped walking and looked at me in the eyes. She smiled as she buried her face in my chest. "Arigato, Hiei-kun."  
  
I could feel the warmth of her tears on my chest. My heart was racing; I didn't know what to do... I embraced her, even though I know she has feelings for the kitsune, I didn't care. Right now, she's here, with me. Now I'm sure of my feelings for her. So this is love... I patted her head.  
  
"Hn. You really do cry a lot. Baka."  
  
  
  
~*~  
  
Frozen_fire: Hiei was really stupid in this chapter. Gomen, Gomen, Gomen, Gomen (times infinity). 


	4. Jealousy

Frozen_fire: *fumbles with fingers* Ahehehehe... well, the last chapter was stupid. I mean S-T-U-P-I-D! Gomen!!! I can't help it! Flame me if you want, see if I care. BWAHAHAHAHA!  
  
What's Love?  
  
By Frozen_fire  
  
Chapter 4  
  
Jealousy  
  
No one else comes close to you  
  
No one makes me feel the way you do  
  
You're so special girl to me  
  
And you'll always be, eternally  
  
Everytime I hold you near  
  
You always say the words I love to hear  
  
Girl with just a touch, it can do so much  
  
No one else comes close  
  
-Joe  
  
  
  
"Hiei-kun... Daisuki." she said as she wrapped her arms around my neck. My chest began to ache because of the rapid beating of my heart.  
  
"Hikari? What are you doing?"  
  
"Daisuki..."  
  
I was confused. "I thought you like Kurama?"  
  
"Iie. It's you whom I like, Hiei-kun." I know that it sounded impossible, but I didn't care.  
  
"I like you, too" I whispered back. She released me. Our eyes met... I touched her face. So smooth. I bent down to kiss her...  
  
  
  
"What the hell?!" I grunted as I rubbed my back. I was sitting on the ground. Ground? I looked up. Damn. I fell down while I was asleep. Hn. It's morning already. Carefully, I stood up, still rubbing my sore back. Then I remembered... It was only a dream. But it felt so real. I wish it was real.  
  
"Hiei-kun!!!" I looked around to search for the owner of the voice. It was Hikari. "Are you okay? Are you hurt?"  
  
"I'm fine. My back's a little sore, though."  
  
She kneeled by my side. "Here, let me help you." She removed my coat.  
  
"Hikari, I'm fine." I assured her. She ignored me and proceeded to take off my top. My muscles tensed as her fingers brushed against my skin.  
  
"You have a bruise, and a big one, too." She poked it with her finger. I jerked. "I'll heal it for you."  
  
She placed her hand on my back. It felt warm, just like the first time I met her. She poked me again. "Does it hurt?"  
  
I shook my head. She smiled at me. I felt myself blush. I looked away and hoped that she didn't see that. "Thanks."  
  
"Don't mention it. Here." She stood up and handed me my clothes.  
  
"Hikari,"  
  
"Nani?"  
  
"Why do you worry so much for me?"  
  
"I don't want my best friend getting hurt, you know." Friend? That's all? I'm nothing more than a friend to her. I sighed. Just a friend, at least a 'best' friend.  
  
~*~  
  
We've been here in Ningenkai for almost a month now. Kurama advised that we stay here so that I didn't have to go back here from Makai just to ask for help. Hikari was happy, too, since she can be with Kurama almost everyday. I felt jealous of Kurama. I especially get annoyed whenever she talks about how great Kurama is. Sometimes I imagine myself killing that fox so that I can get the girl, but that would be stupid. I just can't kill my most trusted friend just because of jealousy. I also don't want Hikari to hate me. I'd break her heart if I ever did that. But whenever I see her face light up when she sees him heightens up my jealousy. When I look in her eyes, all I see is Kurama. She's crazy over the guy! Hn. I can't blame her. Kurama's the perfect guy for any woman. Handsome, kind, gentle, intelligent, strong, everything. I hate him for that. I hate myself for being so jealous of him. I just can't control myself anymore. I'm not who I used to be, even the others notice that. It's starting to ruin my image. Oh well, that's the price I have to pay.  
  
~*~  
  
"So how are you, Hiei?"  
  
"Hn. As usual." I said as I leaned on the wall of his bedroom.  
  
"That's not what I meant." I looked at him. That mischievous smile on his face again. Makes me want to rip his face apart. It always annoys me.  
  
I smirked at his expression. "We're getting along pretty well. But there's something that bothers me."  
  
"Bothers you?"  
  
I sighed. "She likes you, Kurama. A lot."  
  
He smirked. "I know."  
  
"She always talks about you and- What did you just say?!"  
  
"I know. It's so obvious."  
  
"Then why did you- How come you- I mean..." I couldn't speak.  
  
Kurama chuckled. "Don't worry. Like I said, I don't plan on stealing her from you. I'm only here to help. Just relax, Hiei. Now what were you trying to say?"  
  
I took a deep breath. For a second there I thought that he betrayed me. "Then why didn't you tell me? I was going to die of... of..."  
  
"Of what? Jealousy?" I nodded reluctantly. He started to chuckle again. I wanted to strangle him. "Stop with the laughing already!"  
  
"Gomen, Hiei. Anyway, about Hikari,"  
  
"Shuu-chan!" A woman suddenly burst through the door. She had short brown hair and blue eyes. "Yoko-chan! I didn't hear you come in."  
  
The woman smiled. "I wanted to surprise you." I was startled. What is she doing here? I prayed hard that she was who I think she is. But then... Hikari...  
  
"Who is she?"  
  
~*~  
  
After our conversation, I left the fox's house immediately. I'm glad that he cleared that out. Suddenly, I found my eyes being covered by someone from behind.  
  
"Guess who." the voice called.  
  
"Hn. Hikari." Her palms left my eyelids. I shivered when I felt her arms wrap around my neck. "How'd you know?"  
  
"You're the only one who does that to me and lives." I managed to say. She let go of me and went in front. "Oh really."  
  
Hikari has changed. No longer the melancholic girl I used to know. It has been some time that I last saw her not smiling. She can easily fool a person into believing that she lived a normal, happy life though it's the exact same opposite. Seems like the fox greatly influenced her. Hn. I envy her. I'm envious of almost everybody.  
  
"Ne, Hiei-kun, what's the big secret anyway?"  
  
I couldn't say a word. I felt helpless. "Hiei-kun, answer me."  
  
'Run!' my mind screamed, but my other half said, 'That would be stupid. What are you, some kind of coward?'  
  
"Hiei-kun, if you have any problems, please tell me. I'll try my best to help."  
  
"No, it's not that I have any problems,"  
  
"But what-." I pressed a finger on her lips. "I'll tell you in time." Why do I think I'll regret that?  
  
"Hontou?" I nodded.  
  
"But when will that be?"  
  
I sighed. Sometimes, she can be so nosy.  
  
~*~  
  
We're here again at our favorite spot, which used to be MY favorite spot. I was on one of the branches of the old tree, while she's down there sitting by the roots. Hikari was unusually silent. She just kept on fumbling with the tiny blades of grass around the base of the tree. It was nighttime and the moon was high. I felt exhausted even though I didn't do much today. I felt bored. I was thinking about starting a conversation when she suddenly spoke.  
  
"You really don't talk a lot do you?" she said as she plucked a blade of grass from the ground.  
  
"Hn. You've been silent for quite a while as well."  
  
"That's not what I meant."  
  
"I don't really know myself. I guess I just like being silent."  
  
"What do you think he's doing now?" The mood suddenly changed. Ah, Kurama again.  
  
"He's probably studying, being the study freak he is." She giggled at my comment. "You really like him, don't you."  
  
She started to blush. Jealousy struck me again. "I-I don't know. I feel comfortable when I'm around him, just like when I'm with you. But when I'm with him, it's different, too. I suddenly feel... good about myself. It's the first time that a person made me feel this way."  
  
I pity you, Hikari. You love someone who will never love you back. Hn. Why does that sound so familiar? Maybe it's because I'm in the same position. She'll never love me the same way I do.  
  
"Hiei-kun!" Her voice called me back. "You're zoning out again."  
  
"Gomen, Hikari. What were you saying?"  
  
"I asked if you have a love interest. I always talk to you about Kurama- kun, but you never talk about 'her'." she said with a mischievous glint in her eyes.  
  
"L-Love interest?!" I yelled.  
  
"Hiei-kun, you're blushing!" she said, pointing at my direction.  
  
"Hn!"  
  
"Aw, come on, I promise to keep it a secret!"  
  
"Hn."  
  
"Hiei!"  
  
"Go to sleep!" I replied as I turned away. That was close! I might have accidentally blurted it out if she continued. Damn it! I tried to regain composure.  
  
"You're so unfair!" She placed her hands on her hips and glared at me. "I know! I'll just ask Kurama-kun! He probably knows."  
  
'I'm gonna kill you if you ever tell her, kitsune!' I thought.  
  
~*~  
  
"Hiei! Wake up!"  
  
I opened my eyes. Who the hell is calling me this early? I searched for the voice's owner. It was Kurama. "What do you want with me? It's early in the morning!"  
  
"Early in the morning?" he said. "It's almost noon!"  
  
"Noon?" I looked up. I shielded my eyes from the sun. Hn.  
  
"Now do you believe me?"  
  
"Hn. Get to the point, fox. What do you want?" I asked wryly.  
  
"Come down here and I'll tell you."  
  
I jumped down from the tree and glared at him. "What?"  
  
"Hikari visited me a few hours ago. She asked me about your 'love interest'."  
  
"Hn. What did you tell her?" I shot him a death glare.  
  
"Of course I didn't tell her the truth. I just told her that it's almost impossible for you to have one." he said as he scratched his nape.  
  
"And?"  
  
"She also said that you blushed when she asked you about it. You have to control your feelings if you don't want her to find out, Hiei."  
  
"Hn." I started to walk. Kurama followed.  
  
"So when do you plan to tell her?"  
  
I bit my lip. "Never."  
  
He rolled his eyes. "Hiei, Hiei, Hiei. You have to tell her. You can't just keep your feelings forever."  
  
I stopped walking and turned around his direction. "But she really likes you, Kurama. I'll probably end up heartbroken if I tell her now."  
  
"But she has to know." 


	5. Strong Emotions

Frozen_fire: I haven't really given a specific description of Hikari so here goes: Short stature, long black hair tied in a pony, deep purple eyes, pale complexion. She wears a black sleeveless tunic over a white long- sleeved shirt and white pants. (So what if you don't care? :P)  
  
I know that this is from Hiei's POV, but I added a bonus part which is in Hikari's POV. I hope you'll like it!  
  
What's Love?  
  
By Frozen_fire  
  
Chapter 5  
  
Strong Emotions  
  
In places no one will find  
  
All you feelings so deep inside  
  
It was then that I realized  
  
That forever was in your eyes  
  
The moment I saw you cry.  
  
-Mandy Moore  
  
I saw Hikari in one of the picnic areas of the park we were in. She was playing with some stray kittens. She really seemed to be fond of nature. First grass, now kittens. She seems to be at peace with them.  
  
"I see you're having fun."  
  
She spun around. "Hiei-kun, look." she said as she held up a brown kitten. I smirked. "Aren't they cute?"  
  
"Whatever." I replied as I sat near some bushes.  
  
"You're such a killjoy."  
  
"Hn." One of the kittens approached me. It mewed at me.  
  
"What do you want?" I said as I picked it up and placed it on my lap. It licked me on my chin. "Hey!"  
  
Hikari giggled. "It likes you."  
  
I stroked its jet-black fur. It curled up on my lap contentedly and took a nap. "Why did you ask Kurama?"  
  
She jerked up and looked at me. "How did you know?"  
  
"I have my sources."  
  
"I told him not to tell you!"  
  
"Hn. But he did. Now answer my question."  
  
"I know that you weren't telling me the truth. That's why I thought that he knew. But he said that it's almost impossible for you to have one." she pouted.  
  
"Hn. Do you believe that?"  
  
"No. But I swear I'll find out." She pointed a finger at me in a challenging manner.  
  
"Suit yourself."  
  
~*~  
  
I decided to return to the Makai. I needed to get some exercise. Hikari accompanied me on the way. It wasn't long before we met a gang of youkai. Most of them were B-class or lower, but one of them was an A-class. I had Hikari take care of the others while I faced the leader.  
  
"Why do you always get the fun stuff?" she whined.  
  
00  
  
I readied myself for the fight. The other youkai was, too, he bared his rows of sharp teeth. I charged first. I tried to slash him with my katana. As I expected, he easily evaded it. He jumped into the air and charged at me. I leaped out of the way. I summoned the Kokuryuha and charged it at him. No, it wasn't full force, but it did the job. He grimaced in pain. I didn't wait for him to recover. I ran towards him and stabbed him on the chest. I turned to Hikari. She gave me a thumbs-up and continued to fight.  
  
"That wasn't bad."  
  
"Hn. There are a lot of weaklings nowadays."  
  
"Can we return to Ningenkai now?"  
  
"Hn. If that's what you want."  
  
"Demo, can we take a bath first?" I blushed at her suggestion. "I don't want to be seen all dirty and stinking with monster goo. You understand, right?"  
  
"Uh-yeah, sure." I replied. My mind flooded with those not-so-nice thoughts. I shook my head. What am I thinking?!  
  
We headed to a nearby pond. The water was cool so we decided to go in.  
  
"There are no huge rocks like before." she began. "Don't worry, Hiei-kun, we're not going to face each other." I simply nodded at her as I removed my black top.  
  
"Besides, if I catch you peeking, I'll just punch you." she added sarcastically.  
  
I went in first. "The water's fine. You come in now." I called. I got ready and turned around. I heard her enter the water. My mind screamed to turn around but I knew better.  
  
"NO PEEKING OR ELSE I'M GONNA KILL YOU!" she yelled.  
  
I began to start scrubbing. I heard her do the same thing. Occasionally, I felt her back against mine, but she'd automatically pull away. It somehow felt good to be with her this way.  
  
"This is how we met, ne, Hiei-kun?"  
  
"Hn."  
  
"You know, I'm glad that I met you. I've learned so much over the last month."  
  
"I feel the same way, too."  
  
"Arigato."  
  
"Doitashimashite." This was the first time she ever talked to me this way. I wished for the moment to last longer, but...  
  
"I'm done, Hiei-kun. I'm going now... Don't you dare look." she whispered. I chuckled at her remark.  
  
When I felt her leave the water, I called, "You alright?"  
  
"It's okay to come up now!" she replied. I turned around and left the water. I saw her wrapped in a small white towel. Her hair clung on to her shoulders, her skin glistening from the water. I simply admired her beauty. It was this face that changed me. She was just too good to ignore.  
  
~*~  
  
"Here!" she said as she handed me a towel. I caught her hand. It felt so warm, just like always. She looked at me for a few seconds, and then she pulled her hand free. I felt a sudden rush of emotions. Part of me wanted to tell her how I felt. The other told me to wait. I felt confused. What should I do? I gazed at her. She turned around and smiled at me.  
  
That was it. I couldn't control myself anymore. I finally gave in to my instincts.  
  
I grabbed her from behind. She jerked as she felt my arms around her body. She turned around to face me. I saw her blush slightly.  
  
"H-Hiei-kun, w-what are you doing?" she asked. I ignored her question and stared straight into those lovely purple orbs. I caressed her soft cheek. I felt goosebumps rise on her skin. I could also feel her heart beating madly. I hoped that this was a good sign. I know that what I'm doing could cost me the girl I love, but it's now or never. I tilted her head to kiss her...  
  
"Hiei-kun..." I muffled her voice as I kissed her. I slipped my tongue inside her mouth, but her teeth were barred shut. I tried to push through but it remained closed. Just when I was about to break the kiss, her jaw moved, allowing me to enter the moist crevasse. As I deepened the kiss, I felt her tongue brush against mine. 'Is this real?' I thought. Her hands crept from her sides to my shoulders for support told me that this was real. I wanted to pinch myself. Suddenly, all of my logic burst in my head, telling me to stop. I pulled away and broke the kiss. I panted for air. I looked at her. She was gasping for air as well. Then it hit me.  
  
"G-Gomen, Hikari, I was just-."  
  
"Iie. It was my fault, too. Gomen." she said, still breathing rather deeply.  
  
I sat down on a rock, massaging my temples. What was I thinking?! I almost took advantage of her! I looked at her again. She's touching her lips, probably still shocked. "I am so sorry, Hikari. I didn't mean to."  
  
She shook her head. "I-It's alright." She approached me and looked at me with eyes full of care and understanding. I felt guilty. 'I shouldn't have done that!' I scolded myself.  
  
~*~  
  
Hikari's POV  
  
As he got up from the water, I threw him a towel. "Here!" I suddenly felt his hand on mine. I looked at him for a few seconds then pulled my hand away. I felt weird. I shrugged it off and continued to dry myself. I noticed him staring at me. I just smiled at him.  
  
Suddenly, he grabbed me from behind. I wanted to pull free but his grip was strong. I was confused. I turned around to face him. I blushed when his eyes met mine.  
  
"H-Hiei-kun, w-what are you doing?" I asked. He didn't answer. He just kept staring. Then I felt his hand touch my cheek. I started to have goosebumps and my heart was racing.  
  
He tilted my head and kissed me.  
  
"Hiei-kun..."  
  
I felt his tongue through my lips. I was shocked. I couldn't move. Something told me to give in.  
  
And I did.  
  
I welcomed him. I couldn't control myself. I returned his kiss. I don't know, but it felt good. Something inside me was awakened. Why am I feeling this way?  
  
Could it be?  
  
Do I have feelings for him?  
  
But I like Kurama-kun, too...  
  
But... Then he broke the kiss. I was confused. I gasped for air.  
  
"G-Gomen, Hikari, I was just-." I cut him.  
  
"Iie. It was my fault, too. Gomen."  
  
He sat on a nearby rock and massaged his temples. I was shocked. I touched my lips to make sure that I wasn't dreaming... it felt warm.  
  
"I am so sorry, Hikari. I didn't mean to." he began.  
  
I shook my head. "I-It's alright." I approached him. I didn't understand why he did it but it was my fault, too. I hugged him. He rested his head on my shoulder. Then I heard him sob. Was he crying? I tilted his head so that he was facing me. I felt a tear run down my hand. He IS crying! I gazed into his crimson eyes. He looked so weak, yet so strong.  
  
'Everybody has their own weaknesses. Nobody is perfect. No one will ever be.' His words echoed in my head. 'Hiei-kun is, too.' I thought. I hugged him tighter.  
  
"I'm sorry, Hiei."  
  
~*~  
  
Frozen_fire: This chapter's kinda short because I only wrote this as a bonus. *hears reader sob* Oh, here. *hands over box of tissues*  
  
Uh, Hiei was stupid (AGAIN) in this chapter.  
  
Hiei: How dare you!  
  
Frozen_fire: Gomen! Please don't kill me!  
  
Hiei: Hn. I can't kill you.  
  
Frozen_fire: Huh? Really!  
  
Hiei: Of course, if I kill you now, Hikari and I will never get together.  
  
Frozen_fire: What if I finish the story?  
  
Hiei: Hn. I'll think about it.  
  
Frozen_fire: *shivers* 


	6. Realization

Frozen_fire: This chapter is in Hiei's POV (Hey, I just didn't want you to get confused!). Also, a part here in this chapter says that the others have met Hikari (Like in the conversation between Hiei and Yukina.). I didn't include it because it didn't quite fit the story.  
  
What's Love?  
  
By Frozen_fire  
  
Chapter 6  
  
Realization  
  
1 Someday we'll know  
  
If love can move a mountain  
  
Someday we'll know  
  
Why the sky is blue  
  
Someday we'll know  
  
Why I wasn't meant for you  
  
-Mandy Moore and Jonathan Foreman  
  
I woke up early in the morning. (F_f: They're in Ningenkai.) I looked down where she was sleeping. I want to forget about her. What I did to her yesterday was unforgivable. We were getting along so well, but I ruined it. I should've controlled my emotions. But it's too late now. I jumped off the branch and headed for Genkai's temple. I don't want to go to Kurama right now. I know of a much better person to talk with... Yukina.  
  
I arrived in the temple rather quickly. It seemed that Genkai isn't around since I didn't feel her ki anywhere near. I continued to walk around the area. I heard sweeping sounds around the backyard. As I walked towards the sound, I saw a familiar face. "Yukina."  
  
She turned around and smiled. "Ohayo, Hiei-san. How may I be of help to you?"  
  
"I just wanted to talk, if that's okay with you."  
  
"Of course it's okay. Please do come in." she replied as polite as ever.  
  
~*~  
  
"Please make yourself comfortable."  
  
I sat down on one of the tatami mats around the living area. "Arigato, Yukina-chan."  
  
"Could I get you something? Tea perhaps?" she asked.  
  
"Tea would be nice." I replied. She headed for the kitchen. After a few minutes, she returned with a cup of hot tea. She handed it to me.  
  
"It's still hot." she warned. I blew it then started to drink.  
  
"So, what is it you want to talk about, Hiei-san?"  
  
I placed the cup down. "It's about Hikari."  
  
"Why? Has something happened?"  
  
"I want to forget about her, but I don't know what to do."  
  
"Hiei-san, why all of a sudden? I thought you loved her?"  
  
I told her what happened yesterday. I thought that she would get mad at me for doing such a thing but instead, she sympathized with me.  
  
"I see. I'm sorry to hear that, Hiei-san."  
  
I hung my head. "I wish I had the power to turn back time. I wish I had never done such a thing."  
  
"Don't blame yourself. It's not your fault."  
  
"But it is! And I hate myself for it!"  
  
I felt her hand touch my shoulder. "Don't give up. You said that she returned the kiss, right?" I nodded.  
  
"And she said that she forgave you, right?" I nodded again.  
  
"That doesn't mean you have to give up already! I know that you have been through a lot just for the sake of your love for her. You can't give up now! Would you want her to be taken from you?"  
  
"No, of course not."  
  
"Then prove it!" I was surprised. I never heard Yukina speak in this manner. But she was right.  
  
~*~  
  
I returned to the park. I expected Hikari to be there, but she wasn't. I searched for her around the park. I couldn't find her.  
  
"Hiei-kun?"  
  
That voice. I turned around. "Hikari!"  
  
"Where were you?" she asked. "When I woke up, you weren't here anymore."  
  
"I was in Genkai's temple." I replied. Should I tell her now? I took a deep breath. "I 'm sorry for what happened yesterday, Hikari, I-."  
  
SMACK!  
  
I was shocked. Did she just slap me? I touched my cheek. It hurt. I turned to look at her. She looked mad, by the way she placed her hands on her hips. "H-Hikari?"  
  
"I told you that it's okay! It was just a dumb kiss! JUST A KISS! Why are you so upset about it?!" she yelled. Her features calmed a little. "I'm sorry I hit you, but you're so stubborn!"  
  
"You mean, you're not mad at me?"  
  
She sighed. "I will be if you don't stop being so stubborn."  
  
I felt better. I began to laugh.  
  
"What's so funny?" she asked. I ignored her. I just couldn't stop laughing!  
  
"You are so weird. Sometimes, I just can't understand you."  
  
I took a deep breath and stopped laughing. "Finally." she said.  
  
~*~  
  
Later that day, we decided to walk home with Kurama. As usual, Hikari drooled over him (not literally, of course.).  
  
"So, how are your ningen tests?" I asked.  
  
"It was quite easy. I really didn't have a hard time."  
  
"Why am I not surprised?" I replied. I heard Hikari giggle. Kurama started to blush.  
  
"Well, it was not that easy."  
  
"Whatever."  
  
"Hey, it really wasn't!" Then we all started to laugh.  
  
  
  
"Shuu-chan!" a feminine voice called. We turned around. My eyes widened.  
  
"Yoko-chan!" Kurama replied. "I thought you went home already?"  
  
"I was when I saw you pass by." she said as she wrapped her arms around his neck. I began to sweat. What the hell is she doing here? She'll ruin everything! I turned to Hikari. She looked shocked. I nudged Kurama's side.  
  
"Uh, Yoko-chan, not in front of my friends." he said as he removed her arms. She pouted and flung her brown hair. She looked at me.  
  
"Hey, you're Hiei, right? You were in the house last time!"  
  
I nodded. Then she turned around to Hikari. "And you would be,"  
  
Hikari snapped back. "I-I'm Hikari."  
  
She gave her a syrupy smile. "Nice to meet you, Hikari. I'm Konoe Yoko. I'm Shuu-chan's girlfriend."  
  
I wanted to kill the woman but Kurama gave me a strong grip on the shoulder.  
  
"Gomen, Hiei." he whispered.  
  
Hikari gave her a fake smile. "Oh. Good for you. Well, we'll be going now. Ja."  
  
I sighed and followed her. I caught up to her.  
  
"Are you okay?" I whispered.  
  
"I-I'm fine. Don't worry." But I knew she was lying.  
  
  
  
As we reached our place, I tried to speak to her.  
  
"Hikari, I'm sorry you had to see this."  
  
"You knew it, didn't you?"  
  
"Yes. I'm sorry for not telling you."  
  
"Iie. It's okay." she sobbed. "I understand it perfectly. Of course he had a girlfriend. Why wouldn't he?"  
  
I embraced like a good friend. I stroked her hair. I know how she feels. Suddenly, she pushed away.  
  
"It's okay, Hiei-kun." she said as she wiped her tears. "You don't have to worry. In fact, I'm happy for him."  
  
"What are you saying? I thought you liked him?"  
  
"I don't know myself. But I guess my feelings for him weren't as deep as I thought. Maybe it wasn't love at all, Hiei-kun."  
  
I felt sorry for her, but I was happy for myself. Now I have a chance on her.  
  
"I guess I'll have to wait for the right guy for me, ne?"  
  
I grinned. "You'll never know. He may be just right in front of you."  
  
I saw her cheeks turn pink. She looked away. "M-Maybe..."  
  
"Are you okay now?" She nodded her head.  
  
~*~  
  
A few days later, Kurama invited us to a party at his place. Personally, I didn't like going to such occasions, but he persuaded me using the "Yukina Blackmail" again. Of course I fell for it. I didn't want my sister hanging around with some idiot.  
  
Yusuke and Keiko came with their two-year old daughter named Reiko. Botan, as usual, surprised as by crashing into the wall (she's so reckless with that oar). Kuwabara came in with two huge sake bottles in his hands. He almost dropped them when he saw Yukina. The idiot.  
  
"Hey shrimp! Why don't we have a drinking contest?" he proposed.  
  
"Hn. I don't drink."  
  
"Ha! You're just not man enough to accept my challenge! COWARD!"  
  
I just ignored him. Hikari was having fun with the girls, judging by the way she laughed with them. I was especially surprised when I saw her talking fondly to the fox's girlfriend.  
  
Kurama sat beside me. "How is she?"  
  
"She's okay."  
  
"You have a better chance on her now."  
  
I blushed at his remark. "Stupid kitsune! Don't talk about it here!"  
  
  
  
"What are you guys talking about?"  
  
We turned around. "Yusuke!"  
  
He wore a huge naughty grin on his face. "It's a girl, huh?" He turned to face me. "Oh, Hiei, I never thought you would ever fall in love!"  
  
"Hn. You're lucky I don't have my sword with me, half-breed, I swear I could've killed you."  
  
He ruffled my hair. "It's Hikari, no!"  
  
I blushed. I grabbed him and strangled him. "CAN'T-YOU-JUST-SHUT-UP!"  
  
"Hey, stop it guys!" Kurama called. I released his neck. I saw him hold his neck, trying to get some air.  
  
  
  
"Papa, daijobu?" I saw Reiko touch Yusuke's cheek. Yusuke patted her head. "I'm okay, kiddo." He raised her to his lap and played with her. I began to have thoughts of having children. I looked at Hikari. Children... Then that means... I felt my cheeks redden. What am I thinking! I'm not even with her yet! My thoughts were disrupted by somebody's awful singing. I saw Kuwabara and Botan singing on the mic. They're obviously drunk. Idiots.  
  
"And I swear, if you come back in my life,  
  
Baby till the end of time.  
  
And I swear, I'll keep you right by my side,  
  
'Cause baby you're the one I love,  
  
Oh yes you are."  
  
  
  
I never really expected to have fun in the party, but I did. I successfully got the idiot away from Yukina. Hikari had fun, too.  
  
It was almost midnight when we returned. I was really exhausted. I wanted to sleep. Then I looked at Hikari. The moonlight lit up her beautiful features. My heart beat furiously.  
  
Should I tell her now?  
  
No. I should wait a little longer.  
  
But she's here! It's the perfect time to tell her.  
  
  
  
I made up my mind. I'm going to tell her how I feel.  
  
"Hikari,"  
  
She turned around. "Nani?"  
  
I grabbed her by the waist. I could clearly see her blush. I hope she feels the same way. I whispered her the words that expressed my true feelings for her.  
  
"Aishiteru."  
  
I tilted her head so that she was facing me. I gazed into her eyes. She moved nearer and whispered the words that I wanted to hear so much.  
  
"Hiei-kun... Aishiteru."  
  
My eyes widened. She nodded her head in assurance. I embraced her tightly. I cupped her face and pressed my lips on hers. I kissed her passionately, pouring all my feelings in that one kiss. She clung on to my shoulders and kissed me back. We kissed for what seemed forever. I didn't care. I broke the kiss and embraced her. She rested her head on my shoulder and embraced me, too. We stayed that way for a few minutes. I looked down at her and kissed her head.  
  
All along, she was the one I was searching for, the one answer to my question.  
  
What is love?  
  
It's pleasure, craziness, and pain all at the same time.  
  
But love itself can't be expressed in words. I myself can't fully understand it...  
  
I looked at her again.  
  
Hn. I really don't... but I don't care.  
  
OWARI  
  
2 Someday we'll know  
  
3 Why Samson loved Delilah  
  
Someday I'll go  
  
Dancing on the moon  
  
Someday we'll know  
  
That I was the one for you  
  
-Mandy Moore and Jonathan Foreman  
  
~*~  
  
Frozen_fire: I hope you enjoyed this story! I added two Mandy Moore songs here, but don't get me wrong. I'm not really that fond of her.  
  
More to come! Ja! 


End file.
